Boys

Every evening I put on three pairs of socks, two pairs of heavy jeans, a thick sweater with a pillow stuffed underneath, a ski mask, and a construction helmet.

And then I hold Evie down and brush her teeth.

I still end up with bruises the next day. Not to mention the ringing in my ears from her screams of bloody murder.

The other night, Luke and Daddy overheard the racket from the next room.

"Uh-oh, Luke. Evie's being bad."

Luke grins mischievously up at Daddy. "I'm being bad too."

"No you're not."

"Yeah, I'm being bad too."

"If you're being bad, then you need a time out."

"No time out!"

"You're not bad, Luke. You're good."

"No, I'm a boy."

"Yeah, you're a good boy."

"No, Daddy, I'm a LITTLE boy."



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Daddy and Luke were playing with the new Thomas Train set today. Luke bumped his train into the back of Daddy's.

"Hey, get off my tail," said Daddy.

Later on, Luke was playing with the trains by himself. He was making different voices for the two engines, one high pitched and one deep and growly.

Suddenly, High-Pitched Train ran into the back of Deep and Growly.

"Hey, get off my penis."


.......and Mommy, who was sitting nearby, nearly choked on her drink of milk.



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