I thought I was buying a bag of salt, but it turns out there were pistachios in there!!!
.
I'm only 98% satisfied. Maybe Wal-Mart will give me a refund....
Knowing them, it'll only be for 2%.
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
That's Nuts
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I thought I was buying a bag of salt, but it turns out there were pistachios in there!!!
I thought I was buying a bag of salt, but it turns out there were pistachios in there!!!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Name Game
Somewhere along the line, Chris and I decided not to be the kind of parents that constantly call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy" in front of the kids. It wasn't a conscious decision, really. Just somewhat of a necessity for us.
Because while most people can refer to each other one way during the daytime hours, and another way in the evening....say....when the kids are at Grandma's and the restaurant has romantic lighting....Chris and I seem to be among the few that can't.
Nothing kills date night faster than a poorly timed "Kiss me, Daddy."
Of course, I still refer to myself as Mommy in front of the kids.
In the third person.
Habitually.
Seriously, I couldn't stop if my life depended on it.
But for a while now I've been calling my husband by his given name around the kids, and vice versa. Which has caused a minor head trip for Luke.
"You call Daddy 'Chris'?"
"Yes, Baby."
*pondering*
"Daddy call you 'Steph'?"
“Yes, Baby.”
*eyes crossing*
"You call Grandma 'Mom'?"
"Yes, Baby."
*ears steaming*
"You call Grandpa..."
"Yes, Baby."
Before Luke started getting confused by all these different labels, I hadn't really considered how complicated it must seem to him. My mother is "Mom" to me, "Jennifer" to Chris and my dad, and "Grandma" to Luke and Evie. And in a family get-together, the kids will hear every single version used!
I'm no exception; answering to "Mommy", "Steph", "Aunt Stephie", and even "Hey, jerk!" interchangeably. And that's not even counting all the pet-names like Sweetie, Baby, Honey, Poopsie, Schnookums, and (my favorite) Snuggle Puff!
So I try to be understanding when both of my children imitate my husband and I by using our first names....though they're usually screaming "Chris!!" in an annoyed, nasally voice for some unknown reason.
*awkward silence**uncomfortable cough*
Anyhow, saying our names around the house is one thing, but my kids take it to the streets. They've learned quickly that calling me by my given name in public is sure to get a response. As a result, the good patrons at our local Walmart have (at various times) believed me to be the mother, aunt, casual friend, and/or distant relative of my own children, depending on which of my numerous titles the little stinkers darlings choose to use that day.
I've tried ignoring them until they use my correct title, but we all know how that sort of thing usually goes.
Never underestimate the tenacity and mental fortitude of a stubborn preschooler.
Or, as Confucius says: "He who stand off with child in Walmart, come home with no grocery."
Oh well. Guess I'll just write this one off as Hopeless Battle #342 and stick with my usual mantra:
"Maybe it's just a phase."
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Thursday, July 23, 2009
Sometimes I wish my voice were shriller
The most popular (and heart-warming) quotes heard in my house:
Evie, it disturbs Mommy when you pull the heads off of your Barbie dolls.
Why can't anyone keep their clothes on around here?
What did I just say?
Nice try, kid.
Luke, there is no peeing in the time-out corner.
Evie, there is no peeing in the toy oven.
Kids, get off of the dog's kennel!
....get off of the table!
....get off of the counter!
....get off of your dresser!
....get off of each other!
Please stop scaling the pantry shelves.
Stop sitting on the dog's head.
Stop sitting on your brother's head.
We don't put our hands in the toilet.
Did you just shut her arm in the door??!!!
Did you just bite him?!!
Evie, Luke doesn't want to wrestle.
Ow! What was...why would you throw your sippy cup at my face???!!!
If you stop screaming, she'll give it back.
Where's the boo-boo?
Why did you take your diaper off?
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, STOP RUBBING FOOD IN YOUR HAIR!
You should have told me you had to go poop!!!
Is it nap time yet?
Why are you dumping shampoo all over the carpet?!!
Why are you dumping lotion all over the carpet?!!
Why do we even OWN a permanent marker?!
You will obey me, child.
Please don't drink the bath water.
Where's your sippy cup?
Can you find it?
Did you even look?
Why are you ignoring me?
If you lay there quietly and let Mommy sleep for another five minutes, I'll give you anything you want.
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Kids, get off of the dog's kennel!
....get off of the table!
....get off of the counter!
....get off of your dresser!
....get off of each other!
Please stop scaling the pantry shelves.
Stop sitting on the dog's head.
Stop sitting on your brother's head.
We don't put our hands in the toilet.
Did you just shut her arm in the door??!!!
Did you just bite him?!!
Evie, Luke doesn't want to wrestle.
Ow! What was...why would you throw your sippy cup at my face???!!!
If you stop screaming, she'll give it back.
Where's the boo-boo?
Why did you take your diaper off?
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, STOP RUBBING FOOD IN YOUR HAIR!
You should have told me you had to go poop!!!
Is it nap time yet?
Why are you dumping shampoo all over the carpet?!!
Why are you dumping lotion all over the carpet?!!
Why do we even OWN a permanent marker?!
You will obey me, child.
Please don't drink the bath water.
Where's your sippy cup?
Can you find it?
Did you even look?
Why are you ignoring me?
If you lay there quietly and let Mommy sleep for another five minutes, I'll give you anything you want.
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