Monday, March 23, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Fortune Cookies
A conversation in Panda Express:
"Here's your cookie, Luke."
"Daddy, what's that thing?"
"Oh, that's your fortune."
"Fortune?"
"Yeah, here read it."
"You read it. "
"You can read it, Luke. What does it say?"
"Well...(pretending to read)...the answer says: Don't give me a spank bottom."
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"Here's your cookie, Luke."
"Daddy, what's that thing?"
"Oh, that's your fortune."
"Fortune?"
"Yeah, here read it."
"You read it. "
"You can read it, Luke. What does it say?"
"Well...(pretending to read)...the answer says: Don't give me a spank bottom."
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Friday, February 13, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
103.7
How to tell if your son has a high fever:
"Oh my. You're so cold."
"I'm not cold, Sweetie. You're just hot because you're sick."
"That's a cold arm. That's a really cold arm."
"Where's the Motrin?!"
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"Oh my. You're so cold."
"I'm not cold, Sweetie. You're just hot because you're sick."
"That's a cold arm. That's a really cold arm."
"Where's the Motrin?!"
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009
F.Y.I. (part 3)
If you see a three year old boy running naked from his home, followed closely by his little sister (in her jammies), do not call CPS. Even when you see his mother, dressed in baggy sweats and a wife beater, chasing frantically after them.
It's entirely possible that she didn't know the tub of kitty litter next to the front door would provide such a convenient stepping stool for little children trying to reach the locks. Nor was she aware that the movie playing loudly in the house would drown out the chirp of the alarm when the door opened.
It's also possible that the boy likes to strip off all his clothes before using the bathroom and frequently neglects to put them back on afterwords, even when he's planning on making public appearances.
And it's quite apparent that his little sister would gladly follow him to the ends of the earth....or, more specifically, to the park across the street.
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It's entirely possible that she didn't know the tub of kitty litter next to the front door would provide such a convenient stepping stool for little children trying to reach the locks. Nor was she aware that the movie playing loudly in the house would drown out the chirp of the alarm when the door opened.
It's also possible that the boy likes to strip off all his clothes before using the bathroom and frequently neglects to put them back on afterwords, even when he's planning on making public appearances.
And it's quite apparent that his little sister would gladly follow him to the ends of the earth....or, more specifically, to the park across the street.
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