Here are some previews of what I've got so far....
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Clarks
I had a fantastic time with the Clark family yesterday...my first real experience taking photos of this nature for someone else. They were excellent guinea pigs models and I'm having a blast with all the "post-production" work. Isn't little Brayden just too cute for words?
Here are some previews of what I've got so far....
Here are some previews of what I've got so far....
Friday, May 15, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Am I the only one who...
...decides that taking my husband and two young kids out to a movie will be a fun and relaxing way to spend a Friday night?
...wonders why every decent kid's movie has to be in 3-D nowadays when I can swing my hand towards their face and get the same effect?
...looks longingly at all the summer blockbuster movie posters while waiting in line to pay for a glorified cartoon?
...asks the cashier if he accidentally charged me for an entire busload of people when purchasing two adult tickets, only to find that the cost for 3-D movies is significantly higher?
...struggles with the idea of being charged per dimension?
...complains to every pimple-faced employee at the theater when given plastic 3-D glasses for my children that Harry Caray would consider inappropriately large?
...insists on dragging my husband, kids, and related paraphernalia around the theater at least three separate times during the course of the movie until I find the spot that's "just right"?
...ends up sitting in the back of the theater to reduce motion-sickness from the dizzying action on the screen and then spends the entire film trying to figure out if the screen is now so small from my perspective that it's relatively the size of my own (free) television at home?
...bribes my children with contraband Skittles if they would "please just leave the glasses ON" because of my logical and scientifically-based fear that their young eyes will be forever damaged if they watch the movie in its true, unfocused, double-vision form?
...mentally calculates how much I end up paying per minute for a movie that was over in less than ninety?
...gets a free refill of soda when leaving the movie theater (with no intention of drinking it) just so I can have the minor satisfaction of knowing that the jerks who charged me five bucks for a Dr. Pepper will find themselves 42 ounces poorer at the end of the day?
...actually manages to have a good time with my kids at their first movie experience in spite of my debilitating frugality?
I am, you say?
Huh.
______
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Snake Oil
Am I the only one that spends an exorbitant amount of time staring at those annoying banner ads and trying to figure out how they've manipulated the before/after pictures?
"Honey, come look at this!"
"What is it, Steph?"
I gesture wildly at the image of a woman's torso.
"Can you believe this?"
"What?"
"Look at how fresh those stretch marks are in this 'before' picture. Clearly this woman had just given birth! And see...look at how tight the waist of her jeans are so that her flabby belly is forced to spill grotesquely over the top. Anyone's belly would do that if their jeans were that tight!"
Chris is starting to look bored.
"Uh-huh."
"And look, look! See how close the bottom of her bra is to her belly-button in that first picture? Obviously, she's hunching forward to make it all look twenty times worse."
"That's nice, honey. I was actually in the middle of something, though, so I'm just gonna..."
"Wait, wait! Look at this 'after' picture! I don't think that's even the same woman! Her boobs are perkier, her skin is tanner...her stretch marks are completely gone! And look at that...nobody's stomach angles in like that naturally. She's sucking it in!"
"Sure, honey."
"I'm telling you, that's not her. They do this kind of thing all the time and it's SO obvious. I was just analyzing another weight-loss ad that showed this woman's entire body and her face looked no different from the before picture! I mean, how do you lose 60 lbs and not have an entirely new face?! Plus, her hair was exactly the same....the color, the cut, even the position of each curl! How is that even possible if any time at all passed between photos?"
*silence*
"I'll tell you how it's possible. They cropped the woman's head and photo-shopped it onto another body, that's how. And they think that just because Rachel Ray endorsed it or it was featured on the Today Show that they can get away with fraudulent banner ads. Well, someone should hold them accountable for lying like that. The Federal Bureau of Internet Integrity or the Photoshop Enforcement Agency. And you could call a toll free number to anonymously report the evil-doers...1-800-LOOSE-LIPS. "
*more silence*
"But who am I kidding? Everyone lies on the internet, right? I'll even bet that these women were paid a lot of money for their photos. As if that makes it all okay."
*crickets chirping*
"But when you think about it, they're not technically lying. They're simply presenting a before and after photo and allowing the viewers to draw their own conclusions. Is it their fault that people see what they want to see?
*mold growing*
"Honey, the next time I get pregnant, remind me to take a 'before photo' five minutes after I have the baby. Once my internal organs retract and I lose the water weight, we can start planning for a dream vacation!"
*front door slamming*
"Chris?"
*car peeling out of the driveway*
"Well fine. If you weren't interested, you should have just said so."
-----
"Honey, come look at this!"
"What is it, Steph?"
I gesture wildly at the image of a woman's torso.
"Can you believe this?"
"What?"
"Look at how fresh those stretch marks are in this 'before' picture. Clearly this woman had just given birth! And see...look at how tight the waist of her jeans are so that her flabby belly is forced to spill grotesquely over the top. Anyone's belly would do that if their jeans were that tight!"
Chris is starting to look bored.
"Uh-huh."
"And look, look! See how close the bottom of her bra is to her belly-button in that first picture? Obviously, she's hunching forward to make it all look twenty times worse."
"That's nice, honey. I was actually in the middle of something, though, so I'm just gonna..."
"Wait, wait! Look at this 'after' picture! I don't think that's even the same woman! Her boobs are perkier, her skin is tanner...her stretch marks are completely gone! And look at that...nobody's stomach angles in like that naturally. She's sucking it in!"
"Sure, honey."
"I'm telling you, that's not her. They do this kind of thing all the time and it's SO obvious. I was just analyzing another weight-loss ad that showed this woman's entire body and her face looked no different from the before picture! I mean, how do you lose 60 lbs and not have an entirely new face?! Plus, her hair was exactly the same....the color, the cut, even the position of each curl! How is that even possible if any time at all passed between photos?"
*silence*
"I'll tell you how it's possible. They cropped the woman's head and photo-shopped it onto another body, that's how. And they think that just because Rachel Ray endorsed it or it was featured on the Today Show that they can get away with fraudulent banner ads. Well, someone should hold them accountable for lying like that. The Federal Bureau of Internet Integrity or the Photoshop Enforcement Agency. And you could call a toll free number to anonymously report the evil-doers...1-800-LOOSE-LIPS. "
*more silence*
"But who am I kidding? Everyone lies on the internet, right? I'll even bet that these women were paid a lot of money for their photos. As if that makes it all okay."
*crickets chirping*
"But when you think about it, they're not technically lying. They're simply presenting a before and after photo and allowing the viewers to draw their own conclusions. Is it their fault that people see what they want to see?
*mold growing*
"Honey, the next time I get pregnant, remind me to take a 'before photo' five minutes after I have the baby. Once my internal organs retract and I lose the water weight, we can start planning for a dream vacation!"
*front door slamming*
"Chris?"
*car peeling out of the driveway*
"Well fine. If you weren't interested, you should have just said so."
-----